July 20, 2011

Nightly Anxieties

Day 130

My day started out of nothing but a regular routine. As practiced numerous times, I rolled over to one side of the bed to switch on my computer. I checked my phone for any messages: NONE. The clock read 9 am. I know, a bit late for some people but for me, it just means that I was able to get enough sleep. After all, I slept around 2am last night after working on a website. (Will post it when it's been launched already).

I head over to my laptop and start checking emails and Facebook notifications-- this marks the start of my day. This is how I have been functioning for the past 2 years: a workaholic. Even when I'm on vacation, I still bring my laptop with me and continue to work. I never let anything get in the way.

The only thing that's bothering me right now are the nightly tremors that I encounter. I find it weird. Every night before I sleep, it's always the same thing. 'What if I lose my clients tomorrow?' 'What if I lose my memory?' 'Where will I be in a few years?' 'Will I ever be in a serious relationship again?' Throughout the day, these never seem to bother me. But just before I close my eyes at night, these are the things that worry me the most.

I close my eyes to sleep. Then when I wake up in the morning, I start new and continue with my regular routine.

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