Who is your Super ONE and why?

July 30, 2010

Dearest Mom,

You know I've written numerous times to you before. And on this date most especially. This is because today is that one day where I miss you most and I remember what happened 13 years ago. I've tried to recall what happened, tried to understand the signs. I knew it was a normal day at school but when I got called to the principal's office, I knew something was wrong.

I didn't want to admit it then but as I waited for my sister to arrive in the car, I already felt something wrong was happening. From the way the leaves were blowing in front of me, I knew something would mark today. This would be a day that will forever mark my identity. And it will forever be a day that I look back to July 30, 1997 and try to reach out to you once more.

I've written numerous letters. Letters that will forever remain unanswered. Aside from letters, I've also shared some poems. Maybe the cyberspace has consumed these letters. Maybe someday someone will answer them in behalf of you. But until that day comes, I will keep writing a letter to you particularly on this day.

I only knew you for 11 years. To some, this may already be enough time. But I know that this has been insufficient. There could have been a lot more memories that we could have shared: my elementary graduation, first menstruation, first date, first kiss, first heartbreak-- but I was tasked to battle through those alone. Instead of having you beside me, I only called out to you in my dreams and in my tears. I asked for your embrace, smile, and advice even though I knew no one would hear me. I prayed that you would return, even just in my dreams or a mirage in a crowded street.

Sometimes I think I see your face in a crowd of people, staring at me, smiling. But I can never be too sure. Time has erased my memory of you. I am also growing older each year and my memories are not as sharp as they used to be. Sometimes I even have to ask people around me to remind me of certain things: people I just met, a previous experience, or the reason why I should be angry at someone.

Mom, I'm now 24. I've walked this earth more than the time I knew you. And even though my memory keeps fading, I still hope that my time with you is one that will never be erased. Our 11 years together is all I have left from you. I don't want that to disappear, even if everything and everyone has.

And maybe this is why I keep writing letters to you, particularly on this day. To bring me back the memory of my beautiful mother. And despite my busy schedule and my crazy world, today is our day: the day you were taken from me.

I came across Globe's Super One contest. And even though I wanted to win the phone so bad, it made me realize that I don't have a "Super One." I could write about Dad, my sister, or one of my best friends. But that would seem cliche and unoriginal. Instead, I thought of writing to you Mom. Despite the fact that today is your 13th death anniversary, you will always remain as my SUPER ONE. No one can and ever will replace you.

Your daughter,

Trixie