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May 7, 2011

To My Mom on Mother's Day 2011


To My Dearest Mommy,

Tomorrow is another Mother's Day event without you. This year, it's gotten more difficult to get by with all my Facebook friends changing their profile pictures to a photo of their mom. This deeply saddens me because I just realized that this is the only photo I have of us. And sadly, it is the last photo we had together.

Mommy, I miss you more than ever now. During the day when everyone else is celebrating a pamper day with their mom, I keep wondering what will happen if you were with me right now. I keep on thinking how I would spend my Mother's Day with you-- I'd treat you to your favorite restaurant, buy you a dozen red roses, and even go to a spa and a parlor together! I'd gladly spend a week's earnings on you on this special day because you are worth it! Even if that would mean slaving for an extra week, I don't care because I want you to know how special you are to me. If only you were still around, I'd show you how much you mean to me.

It's weird, I know I've made it a point to write letters to you every year during Mother's day. Yet all I could find is an old post that I made in Multiply about not having an opportunity to thoroughly get to know you. This is really one of the things I regret because were taken from me while I was still so very young--I did not even have an opportunity to know who you are and talk about how you met Daddy. If I had the chance, I would listen attentively to you all day long talking about everything under the sun. I would love another opportunity Mommy. I would die for that chance to spend another day with you.

Today, we had a photo shoot that I facilitated. I got to showcase my true potential as a leader and I know you would have been proud of me. We shot 5 different moms from all walks of life and in the midst of all the chaos, I would hide a teardrop from people because I did not want to let them see I was thinking of you. I envied them-- they were young, healthy and full of life. I wished you were like them so we could have spend the rest of our lives together. I wonder what and who I would have turned into if that were the case.

Mommy, I've made it my annual promise to write to you during Mother's Day 2-3 years ago. So even if I can no longer find the blog posts that I've had in the past, I'd like to think that you already got them and that you were keeping them for yourself. I do this whenever I miss you most-- I think that you are just spending a long vacation in Austria (one of the places you've always wanted to visit). I like to think that you are just there and enjoying your time. Wherever you are, I still miss you terribly.

Mommy, I am thankful though that this past year has led me to wonderful blessings. I have met wonderful people who I want you to know of. There's even one of them that makes me feel so comfortable when I'm with her, almost like how I felt when we were together. The funny part is, she also lost a son-- her one and only son. So I'd like to think we're feeling off of each other's loss and that somehow, you are taking care of her boy.

I know that there are a lot of people out there who are annoyed with their moms and feel that they are being nagged. For once, I would love to feel that way too. There are several people I know who don't appreciate the time and effort their parents spend with them. I can only wish they knew how it feels to lose someone they've taken for granted. If they did, they will never hurt their parents. Sometimes I wish I had their mom instead of them because they didn't know how to appreciate her. But I know, you're the only person who's fit to be my mom. I miss you and I love you.

Your Penpal,







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