Does It Still Count As Home?

I can't remember the last time I was in Bacolod for a long period of time. My visits this year only included days when I stayed in my hometown. It's not that I don't like it anymore. There's just something about Bacolod that doesn't feel like home anymore. Each time I visit, I feel like I am a stranger in my own city-- the place I have called home for the past 20 years of my existence. Even until today, I feel homesick and wish I could return to devour on all the things I have missed: Batchoy by Logro, Wimpy's Burger by Kuppa, Cream Puff by Calea, Blackout by Vienna Kaffehaus, The Gypsy Tea Room, Bob's, University Courtyard, Lopue's, and a lot more. These things are the only remnants I have left of Bacolod and when I do get to taste/visit them during my visits, they remind me that I am still home.

I am afraid though, that one day, everything will be new to me. Lopue's would undergo more renovation, The Gypsy Tea Room will move, Calea's cakes won't be taste the same. I am afraid that these too will vanish and become just a part of my past. These are the only things that make me look forward to my visits.

Even my friends have changed. Each time I go home, I have to set a schedule for them just so we could all meet. Although we keep constant communication through text and Facebook, there are times that when we are already beside each other, we cannot talk the same way we used to. They have new friends and lovers, new careers, children, husbands, wives, new homes, new surnames. Times have changed.

There are also some people that have impressed me. While I thought poorly of them back in college (either they were a dropout or a junkie), they have risen above everyone's expectations. I can name A LOT of these people but I do not wish to cause a ruckus. Through Facebook, I get to watch my previous acquaintances skills come to life, like I am part of his audience. I seldom forget that I have met them before and we have attended the same class in college.

Through all these changes, I still see strength and hope. I miss Bacolod and I hope my next trip home won't make me feel indifferent to the place I used to call home.

Here's a clip of Sugal. A 2010 Negros Summer Workshop film by Jan la Ó and Marianne Magalona, two true Bacolodnons. It also features other Bacolodnons such as Raffy Alonso, who is another acquaintance of mine.