To My Dearest Mommy,
Tomorrow is another Mother's Day event without you. This year, it's gotten more difficult to get by with all my Facebook friends changing their profile pictures to a photo of their mom. This deeply saddens me because I just realized that this is the only photo I have of us. And sadly, it is the last photo we had together.
Mommy, I miss you more than ever now. During the day when everyone else is celebrating a pamper day with their mom, I keep wondering what will happen if you were with me right now. I keep on thinking how I would spend my Mother's Day with you-- I'd treat you to your favorite restaurant, buy you a dozen red roses, and even go to a spa and a parlor together! I'd gladly spend a week's earnings on you on this special day because you are worth it! Even if that would mean slaving for an extra week, I don't care because I want you to know how special you are to me. If only you were still around, I'd show you how much you mean to me.
It's weird, I know I've made it a point to write letters to you every year during Mother's day. Yet all I could find is an old post that I made in Multiply about not having an opportunity to thoroughly get to know you. This is really one of the things I regret because were taken from me while I was still so very young--I did not even have an opportunity to know who you are and talk about how you met Daddy. If I had the chance, I would listen attentively to you all day long talking about everything under the sun. I would love another opportunity Mommy. I would die for that chance to spend another day with you.
Today, we had a photo shoot that I facilitated. I got to showcase my true potential as a leader and I know you would have been proud of me. We shot 5 different moms from all walks of life and in the midst of all the chaos, I would hide a teardrop from people because I did not want to let them see I was thinking of you. I envied them-- they were young, healthy and full of life. I wished you were like them so we could have spend the rest of our lives together. I wonder what and who I would have turned into if that were the case.
Mommy, I've made it my annual promise to write to you during Mother's Day 2-3 years ago. So even if I can no longer find the blog posts that I've had in the past, I'd like to think that you already got them and that you were keeping them for yourself. I do this whenever I miss you most-- I think that you are just spending a long vacation in Austria (one of the places you've always wanted to visit). I like to think that you are just there and enjoying your time. Wherever you are, I still miss you terribly.
Mommy, I am thankful though that this past year has led me to wonderful blessings. I have met wonderful people who I want you to know of. There's even one of them that makes me feel so comfortable when I'm with her, almost like how I felt when we were together. The funny part is, she also lost a son-- her one and only son. So I'd like to think we're feeling off of each other's loss and that somehow, you are taking care of her boy.
I know that there are a lot of people out there who are annoyed with their moms and feel that they are being nagged. For once, I would love to feel that way too. There are several people I know who don't appreciate the time and effort their parents spend with them. I can only wish they knew how it feels to lose someone they've taken for granted. If they did, they will never hurt their parents. Sometimes I wish I had their mom instead of them because they didn't know how to appreciate her. But I know, you're the only person who's fit to be my mom. I miss you and I love you.
Your Penpal,
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